Author Archives: Lee

This Doesn’t Even Feel Like Fallin’…

I’m hard to understand. I know this. I get so confused when it comes to what I want, and whenever something is wrong. I can never set my mind straight. Most of the time my mind is blank. Being a confusing person can lead to so many problems. I’m hard to understand, hard to handle and sometimes very hard to deal with. That’s because I’m not perfect.

There are days I want to just bash my head against my keyboard in the morning when I sit down at my desk to start on my school work. I end up questioning why I would do such a thing, it wouldn’t make me understand my purpose on this planet any better. There’s a part of me that will always want to put a gun in my mouth and decorate the wall behind me with my brain matter; it’s just who I am. Everyone has problems; their vices, sometimes I wonder if I have too many of them. I can be an unbearable person to be around without saying or doing anything, which is the part of the problem. I let people walk all over me and the way I retaliate is by bottling up and then letting it out — when I do I’m the one wrong, the one that needs to feel bad about being mad.

I feel like there’s a part of me missing — like it left me when I decided to settle for less than what I’m worth. I’m sad on a good day and stressed out on my worst. One minute I’m winter the next, summer.

People see this strong, reasonable, caring, responsible person when they look at me. All I see is damaged goods that need to sit behind the returns counter at Wal-mart. I’m lying to myself and to others about who I really am. It’s probably because I’m afraid if I show my true self people would run away.

I like rock music, I find death and serial killers fascinating. I’m obsessed with zombies and in love with technology. When I own something, I try my best to take care of it. I love inanimate objects more than I love myself — I love my son more than I love anyone else on this planet. I’m not passionate or affectionate at all. I can tell you how I feel when I’m mad at you but I can’t do the same when I love you. I guess that has something to do with how I was raised. My family is part of the reason I’m the person I am today.

When people drink around me I get scared and want to run away. It makes me uneasy. The moment I get a notion of someone drinking, all I can think of is my estranged mother and her abuse. All I can do is hold the tears back and hope I don’t have to be around this person more than I need to be. I immediately turn into a scared and uncomfortable 9-year-old wishing I had someone to protect me from these scary feelings I feel. Why this is so, I don’t have a clue but it is what it is. When I drink, I drink to get drunk because I’m trying to figure out why my mom used to drink till she were talking to walls and announcing to the cobwebs that she hates me.

I want to be happy but I don’t wouldn’t what happy was if it came up to me and punched me in the brain stem. I don’t ask for much but maybe I should start, then maybe I can get the little things I want. I want to feel loved, be happy, feel wanted, needed; special, protected. I want things that my family failed to give me and I’m still searching for those things. I still ask myself how can I want these things when I don’t know how to give them? What gives me the right to ask for those things?

I’m sick of waking up from a 3 hour sleep wishing I was super woman or a person without emotions. I’m sick of feeling like crap. I’m tired of being a robot and having to smile and choose my battles when the other person is wrong and they too arrogant to know it. This marriage is going to kill me. They’re miserable and I’m more miserable. I want to be able to express my feelings without feeling bad for doing so. I want to be able to feel a certain way without someone saying I’m wrong. I don’t want to debate how I feel, I want to be able feel without it turning into “well you cheated on me so how can you be upset? I should be upset!” You know what I’m going to say to that? BE UPSET! Don’t sit there and say you aren’t mad and then demand a DNA test for our son and tell me out of spite that the only reason you were sticking around and telling that you want to give this one more try is so you can get your check and leave. The things you did to me and said to me far surpasses what I’ve done to you and I’m sick of the victimizing bullshit. Okay…I need to move on with this blog.

Maybe I should spend more time thinking about the things I do have. I have a beautiful son that makes me glad to be his mom. I used to have friends but I were barred from talking to them. I feel controlled and used and I don’t know how I got myself into this and it’s going to feel like forever to get out of it.  That’s pretty much it, just my son. Being happy to be alive isn’t worth establishing — it would also be a lie.

I will do anything for my son but what would my son think of me if he grow up seeing his mom unhappy and a walking mat? My therapist keeps telling me that the part of being a parent and taking care of my son is taking care of myself. I’m at a point of no return and at the moment I couldn’t care less. I need to get out of this unhappy ass marriage and focus on raising my son. Take him to the museums, parks, and zoos. Treat him like the prince that he is. He’s the true love of my life and I have to get better for him if not for myself.

Real Men Don’t Wear Leggings

That’s right. Real me don’t wear leggings. If you get mad at me saying that then you can easily build that one structure people use to get over things. 

I obviously live under a rock or need to either start reading the latest tabloids or watching television. I’m sure I’m weeks behind on the latest absurd things rappers/celebrities wear. Nevertheless, no matter how late I may be, the point is still valid. Men should not wear leggings. It wasn’t acceptable in Robin Hood: Men in Tights and it’s definitely not suitable now. The audacity of it all is the men that wear skinny jeans have the nerve to sag them. What was that Eddie Griffin said? “Saggin‘ is faggin’? Yea, it pretty much is. I’m sure those that partake in this horrible fad don’t know the origins of sagging. It all goes back to prisoners back in the day having nothing to hold their britches up so they sagged. I won’t thoroughly get into that but you get my point.

Either Lil’ Wayne wants someone to poke him and I’m not talking about on Facebook, or he’s totally unaware what he’s displaying to the youth. This is up there with the worst plague known to humanity — it sure as hell spreads like one.

I’m not just picking on Lil’ Wayne, he’s just a good example at the moment.

Just don’t wear pants at all; you already there! Skinny jeans are so tight on women, I can only imagine how a man’s testicles feel. What baffles me, you have on a belt, the skinny jeans are skin-tight, how in the hell are they sagging them? Did he deliberately lay on the bed and sucked in his gut then proceed to hop up and down to get them on and pulled them down below his ass and have the nerve to lace a belt? What’s is this need to show off your ass and drawers to the world? Who cares? You should want to keep that kind of thing under wraps unless you’re on the prowl for someone.

This should be a special on National Geographic.

Leggings, skinny jeans, tights and every other fashion that you got out of the women’s section of Wal-mart need to stay in that section. It’s embarrassing to see a man in the same section of the store as I. I totally refuse to believe that there are people out there making these jeans for men (especially the ones Lil’ Wayne is wearing). Who told him that — hell who told any man that it was okay to wear yeast-infection-bound-to-happen jeans?

I know one thing, if my son EVER came walking in the house with some jeans that look like they belong to me but they’re his, he’s going to wish he was back in the womb.

What I Missed Out On When I Got Married

They say weddings last longer when you get straight to the point and cut out the wedding, the honeymoon etc. Well I’m starting to doubt that theory. There was no picking out a dress, no picking out colors, I don’t even have a ring. I skipped the entire “engagement” phase entirely. I simply signed the papers and that was it. I didn’t even get proposed to. I didn’t realize how much this affected me until I was reading about different and creative ways people get proposed to. That part of my life I didn’t get to experience and it feels like I missed out on it. I seriously want a do over and at the same time I don’t.

No way am I saying that a wedding makes a marriage but it never hurts to celebrate being with the person you love right?

People say getting the money and finding time to plan for a wedding and getting the bridesmaids and things like that are stressful and a waste of time. I didn’t even get to experience first-hand AT ALL what it would even feel like to go through that to make my definition of what stressful is when it came to planning for a wedding.

I feel like the only reason why I got married was because of my son and that both parents needed to be together for his sake. What if they don’t love each other any more? What then? Are they supposed to suffer for their son’s sake? Are two miserable people supposed to stay together because they want their son to grow up and take after the good examples his parents taught him? The answer is no.

I feel like this marriage was rushed, wasn’t thought out and I feel like I missed out probably a once in a lifetime feeling and that’s a wedding. Every woman wants to have a wedding, to wear a dress and go down the aisle; atheist or not. Weddings are no longer “sacred” and the way I handled my marriage, I’m starting to go back to what I originally thought:

GETTING MARRIED IS A WASTE OF MONEY, PAPER AND INK! What’s the difference between being married and just being together besides some legalized paper and a signature? Absolutely nothing. I could be lashing out at the idea of being married because I missed out on having a wedding but at this point, I feel like that would have really felt like I was getting married. My son is almost a year old and I still don’t have a ring. It just doesn’t feel official. I feel like this wedding was arraigned on my sons behalf.

This is not how I pictured how it would be when I got married. When I was child I thought about my dream wedding and my big poofy dress. I pictured my prince charming at the other end of the aisle smiling from ear to ear ready for me to be his wife. Boy was I wrong. I got my vows wed to me and that was it. My son being so close to his due date may have something to do with that but the wedding could have waited until I had him. I honestly don’t believe there was a rush to get married and now I regret ever getting married.

I was so down about this particular situation today, I couldn’t even do my school work. I just sat at my desk, staring at my discussion questions I was supposed to do for 10 minutes before I came to. 7 months into this marriage and it still doesn’t feel like I’m married. To say a wedding, rings and all that other stuff doesn’t matter is a damn lie and I refuse to believe otherwise. This is my first marriage and if it don’t work out, I’m done. This will be my last. The whole way it went about and what happened before I got married and what I went through emotionally with my husband, I’m totally turned off from being married. If I get divorced, I won’t be surprised if I start crying — not because of the concept of divorce but because I should have gotten a dress, a bouquet and my family smiling at me in the pews. I feel robbed. The way I feel about this whole thing may be wrong or off but that’s from someone on the outside looking in. You can’t possibly understand how I feel about all of this.

My grandmother was so ecstatic to hear that I was getting married. She immediately called up my Aunt Barbara. She was going to get my flowers and everything for me. I was happy, for once. I was going to pick out a dress and pick out my matron of honor but I didn’t get to do any of that. I feel robbed of that. Especially after the year I had. I got pregnant a couple of months after I lost my aunt and uncle. My grandmother lost her sister and son. I had to go to two funerals that year. I end up losing my play cousin at the beginning of 2011. Then I get a call from the doctor saying that my son could have down syndrome. It seems like my world was just crumbling apart and for that I ended up hating myself, my mom and taking it out on people that didn’t deserve it. I went through some emotional battles those two years and if I didn’t get pregnant, it was guaranteed I was going to kill myself and not give a damn about anyone crying.

I didn’t get a “Happy Valentines Day” or a “Happy Mother’s Day” last year. It’s crazy I remember that — well not really, when all you have is bad shit happening in your life, it’s not hard to remember the bad things that happen.  For once in my life, can I feel appreciated? Can I feel happy? Can I feel special? I was deprived of love and attention as a child and it looks like it’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life. All I want is a little, not a lot. My family took me for granted so many times. Always wanting me to come to their aid, wanting me to help them but I never gotten so much as a damn thank you. Now that I’m 24 they’re trying to make it up to me for that and letting my brother molest me. I’m mentally battling so many things these days, it’s a wonder why I down all my Trazadone and just pray that I took enough to end my life.

One day my chance to feel happy and appreciated will eventually come, I’ll be getting buried or being put in an urn.

25 Things I’d Rather Do Than Listen to Nicki Minaj

You know what sparked my outrage on this woman? Her latest video: ‘Stupid Hoe’.

  1. Have a pitocin induced vaginal delivery without an epidural. That’s a bit extreme yes but it’s better than listening to someone who sounds like they suffer from a multiple personality disorder. If cookie monster had a girlfriend, she would be the voice behind the puppet.
  2. Have my period for the rest of my life with chronic menstrual cramps. Let’s just say the Hype Williams curse is still in full swing and shows no signs of stopping. First Xtina and now this mess.
  3. Watch a video documentary on Justin Bieber. Spewing pop culture references in rapid, staccato fashion, backed by chimp-simple electronic beats and swearing is not singing, music, or talent. Is the public that starved for entertainment?
  4. Play Vampire Rain a million times over, and then proceed to play Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing. Her niche is being a freak show, and the brainless flash mobs eat it up like fried chicken and waffles.
  5. Pass 10 to 15 kidney stones. Someone press the reset button on this woman. Who in their right minds decided that she was worthy of a Grammy? Award shows are over-rated to begin with but what’s wrong with you people?
  6. Watch a SyFy monster movie marathon. It’s like feeding a stray cat, once you do they never go away. This applies to people who listens to her music and have the audacity to say she’s a god. I wish Hercules would come rip me in two.
  7. Listen to a Rebecca Black and Nyan Cat mash-up. I don’t get Nicky Minaj period. Does she even write the drivel that she sings herself, or are her ‘talents’ strictly limited to chanting nonsense and dressing like a slattern?
  8. Vacation to Cambodia. This woman is in her 30′s she’s too damn old to be making diss tracks about someone who was before her time. If this is her way of trying to get her album to sale, she’s doing a poor job.
  9. Be force-fed snail slime while being forced to watch M. Night Shyamalan‘s rendition of  Avatar: The Last Airbender. The sophomoric insults are getting really old. Does this really qualify for lyricism these days?
  10. Watch two absurdly large women jump up and down on a trampoline while eating Twinkies. I have to say the first time I watched the ‘Stupid Hoe’ video it was very difficult for me to get through, and then I just didn’t have any words. Seeing it a second time on mute out of courtesy for my brain cells I’ve come to a not-so-shocking conclusion: she’s an idiot.
  11. Find hay in a needle stack. After 60 seconds of watching this video, it becomes redundant and makes me not want to live on this planet anymore.
  12. Have a Vuvuzela Quartet follow me around; even to the bathroom. From what I’m understanding, her fans find her to be fun and original. I find her to be an item used to torture hostages.
  13. Eat my own hair follicles. Her style and rapping is ridiculous and so is her thirsty obsession with Lil Kim.
  14. Skip my face across molten lava. Yo Gotti compared her to Lauren Hill. Someone kill me now.
  15. You know those bathroom pictures women make with their faces distorted to look like a fish out of water? Yea, I’d rather look like that for the rest of my life.  She has all the misguided teens and women believing that they’re a Barbie. I’m all for idolizing your idols but that’s borderline brainwashing.
  16. Read ‘The Sound And The Fury’.  Her real name is ‘Onika Tanya Maraj’ and it shocks me that her “fans” doesn’t know this.
  17. Go to a Cleveland Cavaliers game wearing a Lebron James Miami Heat jersey; although wearing his old Cavaliers jersey may have the same outcome. “When I grew up I saw females doing certain things, and I thought I had to do that exactly,” she says. “The female rappers of my day spoke about sex a lot… and I thought that to have the success they got, I would have to represent the same thing. When in fact I didn’t have to represent the same thing,”  Remember when I said she was smart with a good head on her shoulders and that she could be a good influence to the youth? Yea, me neither.
  18. Have a sit down interview with the Kartrashians (Kardashians) about their book ‘Dollhouse’. It’s not just ‘Stupid Hoe’ that needs to go back to the drawing board. Her version of ‘Bedrock’ needs to as well. That song alone may be the worst song in rap history — the song already sucked her version made it worse.
  19. Become a Pokemon Master. She claims she’s bisexual just so her albums can sell. Lowest of the low.
  20. Host a party and have Renaldo Lapuz sing ‘I am Your Brother’ the entire time. Her music may sell on iTunes, she may get awards but it’s not because she’s good. It’s because people don’t have standards these days and with that, you have a catastrophe.
  21. Attempt to have an in-depth conversation with Gucci Mane about habitat for humanity. What does her being rich have to do with anything? Ever think maybe that’s why her music sucks and why people who actually use all five of their senses wish they couldn’t like most of her fans don’t? I didn’t know being rich automatically defined character.
  22. Walk on a mound of Lego’s. People get mad at the truth and are so quick to call you a hater — she sucks. It’s my opinion so build a bridge and get over it.
  23. Super glue myself to Rosie O’Donell’s backside. Don’t worry, this didn’t take long to type up. I didn’t lose any sleep over this blog and after I click Publish, I’ll probably forget I even blogged about her until one of the usual imbeciles come along and drag ‘hater’ and ‘bitch’ through the mud like nobody’s business.
  24. Kiss Lil’ Wayne in the mouth. Does it matter who outsells who? Please don’t set them up just for me to knock them down. Banana’s outsell Apples, beef stroganoff outsells Swedish meatballs. Big whoop. That doesn’t make who outsells who good.
  25. Have Drake’s eyebrows. I’m starting to see who the real ‘Stupid Hoe’ is in the video.

R.I.P MegaUpload

With MegaUpload being shut down by the FEDS with 4 of their operators arrested, things can only get worse from here. There are still 3 to arrest and be charged with racketeering conspiracy, conspiracy to commit copyright infringement. Seems to me this been going on since January 5th. What I didn’t know though was the fact that Swizz Beats is the CEO. Since when?

With the FEDS shutting down MegaUpload today seems like (my husband was just using the site earlier today) that this is only the beginning to the end of the internet. Soon enough the FEDS will be in the news indefinitely.

MegaUpload is a “digital locker” that allows users to store files that can then be streamed or downloaded by others. Its subsidiary site MegaVideo became very popular for the unauthorized downloads of movies and TV shows. Users whose uploaded content proved particularly popular were paid for their participation. -L.A. Times

What I’m not understanding is why were the operators arrested? Weren’t they just running the servers? It’s not like they were allowing the pirated files to be in there, it’s just too many of them. All I can say is MegaUpload has been around for a while but ever since this battle with Universal Music, then all of sudden they’re shut down. My husband believes the music industry got the government in their back pockets — I’m starting to believe it; money talks, bullshit walks.

Damn, now how am I gone watch my Anime now? All those other video players were crapola!

Megaupload and it’s subsidiaries don’t actually own the content on their servers. They only provide off site storage for their users and the public at large. Just as YouTube or Vimeo does. MegaUpload offers to remove any copyright protected content off their servers, provided that the complainant can provide proof of either ownership or license to the protected content. For the US Justice department to blindly close down MegaUpload without proper notification is unconstitutional and smacks of Big Brotherism.

Dear Winton Manor…

May I make a few suggestions? You need surveillance camera‘s. Why you ask? Here’s why:

  • When someone on my floor pulls the fire alarm consecutive nights in a row and then run down the hallway and exit up or down the steps, you’ll be able to catch who did it. So I won’t have to regret moving in here while I rock my son back to sleep from being startled by the women on the intercom.
  • When someone floods the laundry room and fail (or doesn’t care) to tell maintenance which forces people who wanted to wash their clothes go and track down maintenance to let them know.
  • To catch the trifling people who find pleasure in urinating in the hallways and stairways.
  • A lot of buildings have hidden cameras on their elevators, for good reason. People get mugged, harassed; killed on elevators. Other people like to vandalize the elevators or hold the elevator open long enough for it to stop working (the person who stays in 209 does this all the time or she rides the elevators all day).
  • To catch the even more trifling people who leave their garbage in the stairway instead of walking their nasty behinds down the hall and throwing it down the garbage chute.
  • To catch drug activity in the hallways and outside of the accused apartments.
  • So when someone leaves a cart full of garbage and just leaves it there, you will know who did it.
  • To catch when maintenance does something incriminating because they’re just as crooked as most of the people in this building. They half-ass do their jobs and some of them have this smug attitude that I don’t particularly care for.

Mind you, if they know the camera’s are there then putting them there defeats the purpose. People act like animals in this building and it needs to stop.

Update: I just got an invoice under my door. It states:

Dear Residents,

In the past few weeks there has been an increasing amount of vandalism to The Winton Manor, your home. The Winton Manor Management will continue to maintain a quiet and peaceful living experience for its residents. We are looking for those responsible for the vandalism to The Winton Manor. Your cooperation in exposing the person or persons is greatly appreciated.

A reward is available to any one who has information that would lead to the identity of those responsible. Your identity will remain confidential. For more information please contact Mr. John D’Altorio, Operations Manager at (216)377-1315 or Mrs. Davis, Property Manage at (216) 241- 2850.

Thank You

Let me just say, the black community hold strong onto the ‘no snitching’ rule; which I find to be idiotic. They want the police when someone robs their home but if it ain’t got nothing to do with them, they’re not opening their mouths. They may have seen something but if it’s not causing any pain or discomfort to them then they turn the other way. Ok, I’m going off on a tangent here — back to the matter at hand. It’s sickening that to find the people to come forward, they have to be given something. Things like this shouldn’t be in this building. It’s in downtown Cleveland, Ohio for Pete’s sake! You would think there will be a discrimination when it comes to that. No crack-heads or meth-heads that ride up and down on the elevator or hold/block the elevator so it stays on one floor.

When was the last time the stairways were actually scrubbed and disinfected? You’re worried about LEAD! Hmph! There are more other things that can make a child sick. You can’t make this place a peaceful and quiet experience until you get rid of the problems that’s keeping this place from being quiet and peaceful.

This summer was the worst leaving to and fro from this building. Me and my son were harassed and criticized every time I walked past the loiters that were out front or next to the building. You put up signs that reads “no loitering” but do they read and abide? No they do not. What’s the point? They feel they run the place, what makes you think they’re going to follow rules? They smoked, they made noise, they made 9th and Prospect look like 79th and Cedar. All I could do was shake my head and keep it moving.

The fire alarm is always, always going off. It goes off for 10-15 20-25 minutes every time before someone at the desk comes on and say “false alarm”. One day it’s going to be a catastrophe of a fire in this building, no one is going to take it seriously until they see smoke coming under their door or they have lack of oxygen in their lungs.

I finally saw what I think someone finally working on the freight elevator. That thing have been broken since before I moved in (which was in August). What took you guys so long to fix that? What cheap mechanic did you find this time?

Don’t feel bad, it’s not just here, the apartments out in Euclid, Ohio and probably plenty of other places are like this. I’m not living there though, I’m living here.

Why oh why does the woman who comes on the intercom tell people to not use the elevator when there are people in here who uses wheelchairs? There isn’t a ramp so if there was a fire what you expect them to do? Burn to death? Wait on the firemen to come to their aid and carry all them downstairs on their backs? If I were in a wheelchair and I was looking for affordable place to live, no ramp or other safety precautions available for me to make it downstairs when need be would have made me roll in the other direction.

I know there is a slew of people running around vandalizing the building like little children but there are more pressing matters here. The garbage chute should never be packed…never. It’s contradicting and wastes the person’s time when they come out and spray for roaches. Speaking of that, you seriously need to stop wasting your money. That stuff doesn’t work. COMBAT GEL does. Send out a letter to all the residents in the building to get some combat gel. I know some are hip already. Combat gel cleans them out pretty fast. Put that money you’re wasting on sending out someone to spray on getting a better chute system. It’s ridiculous and disgusting!

There are people in this building that want the same things I want. They want order and they want the vandalism to stop, they want the ignorance to end. I know this will probably never make it to any of you who run or live in this building and I don’t care. I won’t be here no longer than I need to be. Before I leave though, I will be taking photos and posting them here so people don’t think I’m making this crap up.

Sincerely, Asilee

Saints Row: The Third Gang Operations Map

Map gets bigger.

Click Image to enlarge.

Please note:

  • Gang operations won’t pop up until you gain that area or drive/fly by them.
  • One of the gang operations is on top of a skyscraper, this applies for collections as well (drug/money/blow-up dolls.)

Are you on Steam? Do you play ‘Whored Mode’? Need a friend? Add me: Asilee

 

The Sims 3: World Adventures: Game Freezes every 5-6 seconds/3-4 minutes Fix

Hello fellow simmers. Asilee.com has redirected this blog to the official Sims blog.
Click the image below to be redirected.

;)

Asilee Sims

Click the image to go to the official blog.

My Kindle Fire


I’m a bit old-fashioned — not too hyped about Androids or whatever. I still have my LGCU500 flip phone and it doesn’t have texting, video calling, etc. It just answer and receive calls and I’m fine with that. I decided that my first purchase into the new touch-activated world will be a Kindle Fire. I figured if I’m going to buy a pad of some sort, it’s going to do something besides listen to music and record video/take pictures. The Kindle Fire is perfect for me because I love reading. Although touch panels are something I need to get used too, I think I can adjust.

The Kindle Fire is a bit heavy and a little on the bulky side; downloading Pandora takes up a lot of space but I don’t necessairly need that. The browser though is fantastic and finding and joining a network is very easy.  The battery life is decent, so no complaints there. Best of all, I can play games on it (like Angry Birds) and to me that’s a plus. I didn’t want to make this blog out to be a review but I had to put what I think of the Kindle Fire out there, just in case someone wants to buy one. All in all, the Kindle Fire is very easy to use and you’ll like using it. Oh, by the way, I can go to the library with my Kindle and borrow books with it instead of taking out actual books. That really sold me when I found that out.

Cheers!

Console Gamers are so Judgmental

Sometimes I wonder if people think before they speak. It’s okay to be a console only gamer but to be judgmental towards PC gamers with no prior knowledge is pretty insulting to me. It’s always the ones that never owned a gaming PC a day in their lives — never saw one either that always have something to say. “PC gaming is dying”, I rather use a controller than a mouse and keyboard”, blah, blah, blah! One, PC gaming isn’t dying, and two, you can use a controller on any and every game; you can even use a controller to browse your computer. I didn’t want to end this year blogging about this subject again but enough is enough. Yea, I know I’m wasting my time but ‘my time’ are the operative words. I would like to see beautiful graphics and processing speeds on a console of 2012 on a 2005-2006 consoles — without upgrading that is. People think you have to upgrade your computer specs every time something new comes out. That’s not true, if you do it right the first time, you shouldn’t have to upgrade your computer for the next 3-4 years. The money people wasted on a Blu-ray player that just so happens to play video games I can buy the parts to make a cheaper gaming rig. I’d prefer to sit down and relax to play video games than flailing my arms, risking punching someone else or myself in the throat with my hand. Let’s not get on the accidents people have caused from playing the Wii. Low and played out blows to consoles I know but they are very valid. After awhile there’s only so much kicking someone in the shins or watching over-priced DVD‘s you can do before you’re no better than playing them on a PC.

I believe “PC gaming is dying” is a cop-out; scapegoat for those who are naïve on the subject. The foolishness needs to stop. Knowledge is power and once you get in the know, then you can have an opinion on PC gaming. A lot of games which at first were PC exclusives were influenced for consoles, yes that’s where most gamers are at the moment, that because people think you have to use a mouse and keyboard (which is in fact the worst way to play a video game besides Minecraft) for all the games, or the fact that what’s on the console is more enticing than what’s on the PC.

If it wasn’t for PC’s, you wouldn’t have console games. Which brings me to my next part of my rant. These console ported pieces of crap these developers is doing; let me just say, I’m not happy about that. Make the damn PC game first and THEN the console game, why do things ass-backwards?

Anyway, if you’re going to be a PC gamer bashing console fan-boy/fan-girl, at least be educated and bring the facts to the table and not some biased opinion because you’re too lazy to think outside of the box for once in your life. Give PC gaming a try before bash PC gaming, otherwise, you’ll look stupid.

Also, before I close…Alieware and the like does not count as far as “expensive gaming” goes. Only a dummy would buy them pieces of over-priced crap — especially now that Dell took over.

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

London Olympic Stadium holds 80,000 people. This blog was viewed about 520,000 times in 2011. If it were competing at London Olympic Stadium, it would take about 7 sold-out events for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

2011 Spike Video Game Awards: Complete Winners List

GAME OF THE YEAR

STUDIO OF THE YEAR

BEST XBOX 360 GAME

  • *Batman: Arkham City*
  • Forza Motorsport 4
  • Gears of War 3
  • Portal 2

BEST PS3 GAME

  • inFAMOUS 2
  • Killzone 3
  • LittleBigPlanet 2
  • *Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception*

BEST Wii GAME

  • Disney’s Epic Mickey
  • Kirby’s Return to Dream Land
  • Lost in Shadow
  • *The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword*

BEST PC GAME

  • Battlefield 3
  • Minecraft
  • The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings
  • *Portal 2*

BEST HANDHELD/MOBILE GAME

  • Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective
  • Infinity Blade
  • *Super Mario 3D Land*
  • Jetpack Joyride

BEST SHOOTER

BEST ACTION ADVENTURE GAME

  • Assassin’s Creed: Revelations
  • *Batman: Arkham City*
  • The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
  • Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception

BEST RPG

  • Dark Souls
  • Deus Ex: Human Revolution
  • Dragon Age II
  • *The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim*

BEST MULTI-PLAYER

  • Battlefield 3
  • Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
  • Gears of War 3
  • *Portal 2*

BEST INDIVIDUAL SPORTS GAME

  • *Fight Night Champion*
  • Tiger Woods PGA Tour 12: The Masters
  • Top Spin 4
  • Virtua Tennis 4

BEST TEAM SPORTS GAME

  • FIFA Soccer 12
  • *NBA 2K12*
  • NHL 12
  • MLB ’11: The Show

BEST DRIVING GAME

  • DiRT 3
  • Driver: San Francisco
  • *Forza Motorsport 4*
  • Need For Speed: The Run

BEST FIGHTING GAME

BEST MOTION GAME

  • Child of Eden
  • Dance Central 2
  • The Gunstringer
  • *The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword*

BEST INDEPENDENT GAME

  • Bastion
  • *Minecraft*
  • Superbrothers: Sword and Sworcery EP
  • The Binding of Isaac

BEST ADAPTED VIDEO GAME

BEST SONG IN A GAME

  • *“Build that Wall (Zia’s Theme)” by Darren Korb – Bastion*
  • “Exile Vilify” by The National – Portal 2
  • “I’m Not Calling You a Liar” by Florence + the Machine – Dragon Age II
  • “Setting Sail, Coming Home (End Theme)” by Darren Korb – Bastion
  • “Want You Gone” by Jonathan Coulton – Portal 2

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

  • *Bastion*
  • Batman: Arkham City
  • Deus Ex: Human Revolution
  • Portal 2

BEST GRAPHICS

  • Batman: Arkham City
  • LA Noire
  • Rage
  • *Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception*

BEST PERFORMANCE BY A HUMAN MALE

  • J.K. Simmons as Cave Johnson – Portal 2
  • Mark Hamill as The Joker – Batman: Arkham City
  • Nolan North as Nathan Drake – Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception
  • *Stephen Merchant as Wheatley – Portal 2*

BEST PERFORMANCE BY A HUMAN FEMALE

  • Claudia Black as Chloe Frazer – Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception
  • *Ellen McLain as GLaDOS – Portal 2*
  • Emily Rose as Elena Fisher – Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception
  • Tara Strong as Harley Quinn – Batman: Arkham City

BEST DOWNLOADABLE GAME

  • *Bastion*
  • Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet
  • Stacking
  • Trenched

BEST DLC

  • Fallout: New Vegas – Old World Blues
  • Mass Effect 2: Arrival
  • Mortal Kombat: Freddy Krueger
  • *Portal 2 Peer Review*

MOST ANTICIPATED GAME (Fan-Voted)

The Sims 3: New Expansion Pack – Showtime!

Hello fellow simmers. Asilee.com has redirected this blog to the official Sims blog.
Click the image below to be redirected.

;)

Asilee Sims

Click the image to go to the official blog.

My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Make Brownies

With an award-winning baker for a mom, my husband cannot make brownies. Tragic. He says, “they’ll taste better if you make them”. He says that for everything I cook. Well I don’t think that’s true. They’ll taste the same if he were to make them. Reading the directions off the back of the box isn’t that hard. Trades and skills don’t often rub off on the off-spring but my husband lived with his mom and he saw her make wedding cakes, pies and pastries. He know how to make brownies. I’m going to make him make some one day. I won’t believe he can’t make brownies until I see it. If they come out bad, he’s banned from the kitchen and I’ll never doubt his non-baking skills ever again.

Its just sad that I’ll never get breakfast in bed because, “your breakfast will taste better if you make it”. I hope he doesn’t say that to our son when he gets older and he want rocket ship pancakes for breakfast. I can see it now, “ask your mom, they’ll taste better if she make them, I’ll just burn down the kitchen son.”

The Walking Dead: Episode 7 Season 2

This blog will contain spoilers!

Well Shane stages a coup, gets fed up with how the things are going. He figures Sophia is dead or “gone” as he say, and goes off the deep end. Wait, let me rewind it a back a few scenes (or episodes). Shane is the new bad guy since Merle is on hiatus and I can’t stand him;  I love that I hate his guts. He made a lot of valid points these past few episodes, but episode 7 takes the cake. What really got next to me was when Shane tells Daryl, “As soon alive out there saw you comin’, all meth out with your buck-knife, deek-ears; Rodger neck, she went running in the other direction“. I must say that was messed up. It’s obvious Shane is fed up. After he shot Otis and left him to experience a horrible death, I truly began seeing the evil and dark side of Shane. With his new outlook on life came a new attitude, a new hairstyle, a new reason to live.

To be honest, when he finds out that the man he left in the hospital for dead was alive, that’s when he began this whole different personality change. He thought he was going to save Lori and Carl from the zombie apocalypse and ride off into the sunlight to live a world anew.

Anyway, Shane stages a coup and because of that, the team finally finds Sophia, but not in which they were hoping to find her. Carol, Carl and the rest of the gang is devastated. There’s nothing they can do for Sophia now but to take her out of her misery.

This recent episode really had me sitting on the edge of my seat. As they watched the walker that is Sophia inch towards them, I can feel the pain that everyone was feeling without the camera panning in their direction. It was gut-wrenching and shocking that the writers chose to do it that way. I was truly hoping that they were to find Sophia in her right mind. Hungry, dirty, tired, sore, but alive. Carl lost his sister, Carol lost her daughter. They’ve lost people in this series before but not this way.

When Shane unleashed the walkers and they all came pouring out and they shot them all one by one, I kind of knew in my gut that Sophia was going to be in there. I wanted my gut to be wrong though. When that camera panned back to the barn and Sophia came walking out, I have to admit that I was a bit relieved for it to be over. They’ve spent majority of the season looking for poor Sophia and now she was found, and now they can move on.

To be lost and alone in a world where there are things far worst than being lost in the woods — but being lost in the woods filled with blood-thirsty zombies is one hell of a scenario.

The Walking Dead is now my favorite show to look forward to on Monday’s. I have to wait til they put them on the website in order for me to watch them because I don’t watch television.  If you’ve missed any episodes you can go to amctv.com and watch any episodes you’ve missed.

I must say that the old veterinarian was really getting on my nerves with all of his “rules” and having Rick go lasso up some of the walkers and stick them in the barn with the rest of them. I wonder how long was Sophia walking around in the state she was in before they found her and put her in the barn? Raises a lot of questions. Also Hershel could have told them that he found a little girl and that he stuck her in the barn with the rest of the “sick” people. Then again, he didn’t want them to carry guns around either, probably because he didn’t want them to kill his family. Well sorry to say but his family was already dead the moment they died, got up and started walking again.

I think if they thought of the possibility of her being a walker as well as alive, the shock factor wouldn’t have been all that bad. Either way, this was one of their best episodes. I was sure they was going to find her alive though, I wanted her to be alive.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 209 other followers