Calling ALL Left 4 Dead 1 & 2 [Steam] Players!

Add me on Steam: Asilee. Good, friendly, fun, gaming is all I ask of you.

Also let me make a few things clear and I’m sure a lot of those who read this and play L4D will agree:

1. Assumptions are never cool. Don’t just assume that everyone is using a mouse and keyboard as you. Just because you find it A LOT easier to simply point and click to shoot a zombie doesn’t mean everyone else feels the same way. I’m more comfortable using my Xbox 360 Wired Controller while others might find using their Logitech Controller more comfortable. Assumptions leave people to make stupid responses via mic or keyboard. Calling people a douche and n00bs because they missed a few zombies during a crescendo.
2. If you’re being roped up by a Smoker, there’s a Tank on the map and a crescendo and you yell on the mic “I NEED HELP!” or say it in all CAPS on the keyboard and you KNOW all of this is going on with other survivors on the map; we can’t get to you and you get mad and wish incurable diseases on people, you obviously need to develop manners, common sense and a little courtesy.
3. If you hate a certain player on the map THAT much and instead of going through the map and playing the game, you decide to stand there and empty an entire clip on that person until he dies, you need to play by yourself with the CPU.
4. We’re playing on Expert or Advance, hell maybe even Normal and we all pretty much one more punch to the teeth from being TKO and we somehow make it through Hard Rain or Dead Air and get to a Safe Room and we all heal that does NOT mean when we get to the NEXT Safe Room your health is at 86% you can go ahead and heal and snatch up another health pack. Especially if someone needs it more than you. That’s selfish as hell and you probably had a rough childhood.
5. Speed running through a map takes the fun from other players and I’m sure you as well. What do you get out of doing that? You got a record book and a stopwatch or something? You trying to beat a record? Then you get mad when you’re so far ahead and a Smoker, Charger or a Hunter got you held up in a corner and you about to piss your pants because “We’re taking too long” but sorry dude, you left us with all these Tanks and crescendos to deal with, your impatient ass is gone have to wait or rage quit.
6. I can understand lighting a gas can on fire by mistake but deliberately throwing a Molotov or lighting a gas can on fire because you’re being overwhelmed by a gang of Zombies and there is a team member two feet in front of you who is going through the same thing as you and they’re being pummeled and you’re holding your own makes you real stupid and oblivious to the health bars at the bottom of the screen as well as the hit points it takes from them the longer they’re standing in the fire.  They don’t see the fire coming because their back is turned, there was no warning, a smoker have them in their sight, a tank is around the corner and the first person it see is the first one on its shit list. And you decide to throw a Molotov because you want to survive, well now both of you are on fire and you probably just incapacitated your team member as well as yourself. The other team members have everything else to take care of AND THEN come and revive you up off the ground if the tank haven’t knocked them off the map somewhere; or if a jockey haven’t led them into yet another ass kicking. Then you’re pissed if and/or when you have to start the map over and you rage quit.
7. If your head is stuck so far up your rectum that you think you’re the baddest, most awesome zombie annihilator on this side of the Steam servers, go outside, I’m sure there’s a life out there waiting on you. No one wants someone on the mic critiquing on how everyone else is playing and yet they can’t even Cr0wn a Witch correctly. While I’m on that, why do some of you [if not most] run off to find the Witch? She’s not in our path or anything and yet you’re running around the map, opening doors, probably done found the Tank in the process looking for the Bitch…er Witch. I know her crying is so tantalizing and it pulls you in and you want to end her misery but if you don’t know how to kill her with one blow or on your own for that matter, leave her alone. You won’t win any brownie points with anyone else that has the displeasure in playing with you.
8. Those who are scared to turn a corner, just go play Checkers or something. It grinds my gears when I see someone trailing behind, letting everyone else go ahead of them and suddenly they want to throw their “I got balls” cape on. Or find some damn excuse to trail off the path. There will be other opportunities to grab some “peels”.

Here’s a list of things NOT to do in Left 4 Dead 1 & 2