My Mom Hates Me…

I said I was going to take a break from blogging but I had to get this off of my chest…

You would think, if a mother hate their child that she’s done some really foul and cruel things to their mother. This is not one of those cases. My mom hates me [even said it out her mouth] because I was born with a mind of my own.

My mom suffers from a serious alcohol problem. She calls her mother; my grandma who in fact is my mom and curse her out because of my marriage to my husband. Saying “she must hate our last name now” and “why she name her son with the last name McLain?” None of your damn business that’s why. This is a “mom” who I should be calling by her first name because no way in hell is she a mother. She has shown no effort in trying to get to know her second eldest, even when I was growing up. She preferred to get drunk and talk to walls. Didn’t make it to any of my graduations, and the only reason why she was at any of my birthday parties was because she just so happened to be living in the home [even though she wasn't supposed to be]. This mom of mine made my grandmother’s life a living hell. She laid down and had 5 children and she don’t give a shit about any of them.

Me and my mom are pretty much strangers, she’s always tanked up so why would I want to come to her and say anything? She is the epitome of ‘truth serum‘ because she’ll tell it like it is when she’s drunk but when there isn’t a bottle near by she stay quiet. There is no communication between us and it sucks yea but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve tried for years to reach out to my mom. I wanted her to be proud of me, I wanted her to love me and although she says she do; she don’t. She has an odd way in showing it if she does.

She’s voice the hatred of my marriage to my grandma because she wasn’t informed. She don’t reach out to me, so why would I find it to be second nature to reach out to her. She curses me out on Facebook; mad at me like we were best friends or something and I suddenly decide to give her the cold shoulder. No my second nature is to tell the people who care about me first then get to her later. If it make it to her through the grapevine then so be it.

All the mistakes my mom has made with all of her children, I’ve forgiven her for those mistakes and that’s all I can do. Just can’t believe the audacity of her to curse me out like she did like I did her wrong. I didn’t even have the ceremony yet, I just signed the license.

She never showed any interest in her grandson either, didn’t even ask me how he was doing, nothing. We stay in the same city and we’ve run into each other at granny’s house. She just completely ignored the baby growing inside of me. All she could say is that it look like I swallowed a basketball and she got the nerve to be mad at me when I don’t feel the need to tell her anything? Who’s to say she’s even going to remember the following day? She’s always tanked up. I’m surprised she can make it through her classes at college without wanting to leave an hour early so she can go home and drink. She’s so full of excuses it’s disrespectful to me as a mom to call her a mom. I’ve taken that word too lightly until now.

So yea, my mom hates me because, I got married at 23 to the father of my child/the love of my life and gave my child the fathers last name.