I’m a loner for a reason…

I don’t like people in general but its the females I despise. I mean don’t get me wrong, I can tolerate people but if I had a choice to be around them or not, I wouldn’t be around them. I’m not an asshole to people because I don’t like them. I treat people how I would want to be treated. Its just …ugh, a large quantity of them in one area makes me itch. I don’t like small talk either. That I can live without. I like it when people get to the point so I don’t be standing there getting uncomfortable. I’m not much of a happy person; I hate smiling and cameras. Get people and camera’s in a room with me and I’ll try my damnedest to get the hell out of dodge.

Being a loner is awesome though. There’s no drama; no people asking you for money; you don’t have to share your snacks or video games, the list is endless. I think that’s why people didn’t like me in high-school because I wouldn’t hang out with them just to smoke with them after school. How the hell is that something to do on any planet? Its one thing to be human but to be a human and smoke? We won’t have nothing but “hi” and “bye” to say to each other. If I had to hang around people, I would want to hang around people that are like me or at least close to it so we wouldn’t have to talk to each other to remain friends.

Just give me my music, my food, and my video games and I’m the happiest camper ever. I’m not materialistic nor am I picky [to a lengthy extent], that’s energy I could be using avoiding people. I don’t like being in the spotlight, I try to avoid opportunities for that to happen. I wear all black [my favorite color] and in my mind, black means “uninteresting”. Besides, bright colors annoy me. I tried dressing in something else besides black but all it left me at the end of the day was me explaining myself to my relatives that I was okay. They thought I was off my rocker because I wore a gray and white shirt. Even my boyfriend trips out when I wear white socks. Sometimes I have to ask what the fuck am I doing myself when that happens.

No, I’m not “emo” whatever the definition to that word is; it could mean anything these days. My point is, people keep too much shit started and they talk too much. They don’t sit down and appreciate themselves. I sit down and look at myself everyday and I’m happy that I am who I am whether people like who I am or not. I prefer they didn’t; less people that like me the less potential crushed feelings I have to hand out. They’re loud too, that’s why I dread living downtown. When I’m up on my feet again, I’m moving far away from the city as possible. My family might hate me for it but who gives a damn about them? They disowned me when I told them I was an Atheist, so to hell with family.

As far as females go, they bleed the same way I do every month so I know for a fact that they use that as an excuse to be a bitch. They’re some conniving ass broads I tell you. They don’t know when to stop gossiping or being deceitful. Majority of my family is females and all they can do is talk about me or about who caught what from who. Thank goodness I already set in my mind that I was adopted. I don’t even talk on the phone, I mean why would I? I have to look at them and look at me and have to remind myself to why they hate me. Its very clear why.