The relationship me and my boyfriend have is wonderful. I’ve been told by a lot of hypocritical ass Christians that I’m going straight to hell for allowing myself to clutter my boyfriends mind with my Atheist ways. Well Ced told me that religion doesn’t make a relationship and I believe him. It really doesn’t make a relationship, love makes a relationship, commitment, communication makes a relationship. I cannot say that religion doesn’t make any or every relationship but it doesn’t make ours.
I was always told before anyone even knew what I didn’t or did believe in that religion is the root to all relationships. Why though? Why do it always have to be the Christian way with things? Why does it matter what the relationship is standing on? Also why does it matter to a lot of my Christians friends where I get married if I get married at all? Why can’t I love my boyfriend for who he is? I don’t care what he believe in. Unlike Christians I don’t force people to believe God doesn’t exist, like most try to throw a scripture in my face that he do exist. I honestly believe in my heart religion means squat when love is involved. I love my boyfriend and that’s all that matters. He has accepted my beliefs and I have been accepted his.
My thing is this, I know I won’t be able to not tell my family and his family about my beliefs and non-beliefs. I’m going to have to tell them sooner or later but, I know Christians, they are going to question him and probably judge me as well. Hopefully they see me for who I am without seeing what I am but if not I can’t worry about that because I’m not in a relationship with them I’m in a relationship with him. They may be taken aback a bit but hopefully they don’t start treating me differently like my last boyfriend family did. His father and mother were preachers. They found out I was an Atheist and they talked down on me so bad that I had to stand there and laugh at them. They’re supposedly preaching the ‘good word’ but they can’t seem to practice what they preach.
People wonder why I don’t date Atheists, well its because I don’t look for Atheists, I don’t look for Christians. I don’t date people based on their religion/anti-religion. That shit doesn’t matter. I’m just lucky I found someone who feels the same way.
I’m no longer with this person.
[...] I’m an Atheist, My boyfriend is a Christian [...]
I am an Athiest and my boyfriend is a Christian. Though we dont agree on these things, and many others, we respect that we each have our own beliefs – and I’m glad to finally hear that someone else can do this too! I am also tired of being judged for my beliefsm prespectives, and overall ideas. I don’t appreciate the fact that most Christians automatically assume that I am trying to offend them by calling myself an Athiest.
Your family may not understand your beliefs, and they may try to influence them, but they will most likely realize the fact that you are one. I can;t say anything for sure, since i don;t know them or you, but if you care enough about them learning this about you, then they must be a good enough family to respect you and your beliefs. Good luck!
Now that i’ve written all of this i realize you wrote this sveral months ago.
Well I hope everything went well for you, your family, and your boyfriend.
Thanks for your warm wishes and understanding but unfortunately it didn’t work out. After 6 years I’ve finally realize that I was staying with someone who lacks in the responsibility department. It took this year to realize that I was with a 29 year old child.
Im sorry it didnt work out, but it was probably for the ebst. At least, thats my opinion; I don’t beleive in regret.
Last semester I broke up with the guy I had dated for the better part of a year because I realized he had the very same emotional maturity I had at age twelve. But now I’ve found someone with stability…which is exactly what I need right now.
I hope that, if you havent already found someone who knows when to act their age, you’ll find someone soon. The world is full of people all waiting to be used up.
My gut feeling is telling me that breaking up with him is the best decision I made all year. I am also one who regrets nothing. It is what it is.
I do not believe in regret. It is, in my opinion, a waste of human emotion. If you’re going to do something it is best to stick by your actions. In my entire life there is nothing i would take back – i mean sure, of course there are things that i shouldn’t have done, but if i could do it all over i’d do it just the same. If not, than i wouldn’t be me.
Well said.
Good luck! I have absolutely no idea how all this feels apart from the comparison with telling my family that I’m gay. I live in Belgium and nobody really cares about my religion nor do they about my sexual orientation. I think most people over here make the assumption you’re either religious or an atheist but both are very personal and should be that way.
So I guess that shows that there is hope for a liberated, free and true democratic society where religion used to be deeply rooted. Or maybe we keep ourselves a bit too busy with language matters to care about religion.
Well here its “If you aren’t a Christian then you aren’t human.” Its very depressing at times to try and be yourself.
Lee, it is very trying at times to stand for what you don’t believe in. I have been married for 27 years and neither one of our families know we don’t believe in god. We do not attend church for anything other than weddings and funerals. My children (2 boys) never were made aware of our lack of religion, it was mute, they have both grown to follow their own beliefs. One is very “christian”, one has just recently told us he doesn’t believe in fairy tales.
You and Ced need to decide what is important to the two of you and don’t worry about what others think. Also, it is not that important that you share your beliefs with either of your families. I think if they came and asked “Do you believe in God?”, you should be honest. They feel your beliefs and theirs are the same, all christians think everyone is a christian, so quit putting so much brain and worry time in this and be happy.
Thanks, I was thinking about telling my family and his that I’m an Atheist the next time they invited me over for dinner. I just don’t know what they’ll think. I guess I’ll know soon enough because they have been so nice to me and it will be obvious when they have changed their mind about me. Oh well though, at least I would be getting it off my chest.