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Blacks especially never cease to amaze me. Sometimes I wonder will they ever get a lick of sense. I’m not talking about ALL black women; just the women/female/girls who think they’re “Wifey Material“. A lot of these broads don’t even know how to cook let alone be a wife. How are you going to be a Wife if you can’t even cook or be classy about yourself? You don’t have an education, you’re running around with all these kids with all these different baby daddies, you’ve been on Maury twice and you’re saying you’re “Wifey” material? Broad please, if  your wifey material then I’m Bill Gates.

Its crazy that most of these broads haven’t even finished high-school yet and here they are telling a man their wifey material. How can you be such a thing when you can’t get married until you’re up to legal age? Shit half you idiots who still in school keyword “still” are up to legal age. That doesn’t make you wifey material though. I’m kind of confused on this ‘y’ on the end of “Wife“. I know this terminology has been around for some time now but damn they need to retired that word from their vocabulary forever. Kind of slut who has slept with every man in the neighborhood think they’re wife material? I’m sorry I feel like a hoodrat every time I type out “Wifey“. So I’m going to use “Wife” from now on. I think I need a good definition or a horrible one of what broads think is wife material. Well off to Urban Dictionary I go…

Here’s one Definition but I don’t think this right. So I’m going to take off “Material” and see what I get.

Wifey Material

A phrase often used to describe a girl whom you feel possesses certain qualities that qualifies her to be a model wife for you.
Kind
Sweet
Caring
Compassionate

Wifey

Ya “chicky”, 4 life, u tell ha shit,she tell u shit, u luv ha 2 death. A real girl!!
MIchelle n Shana are ma closets wifey’z 4 lyfe. i luv yall {no homo shiit} ya boo stephanie d. u alradii kno. [Ain't nothing real about two broads who probably fucked your boyfriend behind your back.]

Okay can someone translate this babble for me? These broads are so dumb they shouldn’t even be allowed to step inside of a school. Especially if they are going to continue to be that stupid. That’s a insult to teachers every where. The English Language has be slandered and beaten up all for the sake of “Slang” and “Ebonics“

Anyway, I found yet another definition of “Wifey“…

Wifey

Wifey -  (why-fee) n – A female entitled to call his phone any time of the day or night, make herself at home at his home, occupy his free time, keep him out of trouble, defend him at all times even when he’s not around! (and vice versa), make sure he’s happy (because he does the same for her), have all of his attention.
TRANSLATION>>> The one that ALL the girls love to HATE!!
That’s my wifey, I’m never letting her go.

Okay this is one is much better to understand but its still stupid. Very stupid I believe I got this “Wifey” shit all wrong. Or they got it all wrong, I can never “love to hate” another broad cause they are “wifey” I’m too grown for that. Well since this is what “Wifey” means to them, I’ll continue this blog based on that. Moving on…

Okay that last definition; I cannot believe the broad or dude who submitted this definition tried to be smart and correct about the whole thing. Making it look like a real definition and shit but still made it look “ghetto” as hell. I’m going with “ghetto” since they themselves use it so much and they find the dumbest shit to be “ghetto“. Its an Urban Dictionary, not Webster!

Anyway lets see, lets start on that first part. “A female entitled to call his phone any time of the day or night,” Okay what the hell? Since when did a man want to be talked to at 6:12 in the morning? Well wait, he isn’t a man he’s a little  boy. Don’t mind me I’m playing this shit in my head and all I’m getting is two teen virgins on the phone while they’re grounded at 6:12 in the A.M. talking on the phone until one of them fall asleep.

The second part, “make herself at home at his home“, really? 9/10 that isn’t his home, its either the governments or his moms. I’m sorry if I’m being closed-minded on the whole thing but hell I can’t be wrong look what the hell they think is a “Wife“!

Okay third part, “occupy his time“, yea like he has a job or is going to school. I’m sorry but a decent man with a solid head on his shoulders would not be calling some female he probably met on Myspace “wifey“. Wait I just added two scenarios together a man who had just met some chick on Myspace and do not have a good solid head on his shoulders would call her “wifey“; okay that’s better. I mean there’s nothing wrong with meeting people online but you know men can be, I think.

Anyway onto the fourth part it just gets better and better, “keep him out of trouble“, seriously that’s like trying to keep a fish out of water, depending on the fish. How can you be his “wifey” and his mother? Wait, I guess that’s part of being a “wifey” too, be his mother! You bitches make me sick. Okay I guess it isn’t getting better or my sarcasm needs work.

Onto the fifth part which I know is going to be giving me a headache, “defend him at all times even when he’s not around!“, yea so now the bitch is Rambo now? She gone put her life on the line cause of some man? That’s like me defending my big brother when I know he’s a habitual liar. If he’s a man, he need to do what a real man does and that’s to handle his own problems. There isn’t enough amount of “good dick” to get me to be an Akimbo Assassin for his ass.

The sixth part, “make sure he’s happy“, well that makes sense that’s the only thing that has made sense throughout this whole thing. Lets just put it this way, Hoodrats are fucking idiots. Plain and damn simple it just pissed me off just reading that garbage. I wonder as they get older do they grow out of that bullshit or does it just stick around? Cause I’ve seen women in their 30′s act, think, and talk like this. Its a shame, this is why I put myself in Downtown Cleveland cause then I’ll only have to be around them ignorant fools when I want to go to Gamestop.

I guess I learned something new today. You have to be a hoodrat, Akimbo Assassin with a cell phone and a watch to be considered a “Wifey“. Ha! Well I’m sadden to say that the Civil Rights Leaders wasted their time. Most of these broads have too much damn freedom, they’ve taken freedom of speech to a whole new level. I would say “bless their souls” but I’m an Atheist so yea they have no souls. Neither do I; after reading what “wifey” mean I’m not sure if I want one.

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