Asilee.com

I found this crock of a list on numerous sites. I’ve even read the replies. Some have said “damn I really am ghetto.” or “I didn’t know I was ghetto until I read this list“. Being that this shit is suppose to be a “joke” or whatever but regardless of the fact people don’t know the real definition of “ghetto“. The list is long and I have some editing to do to it cause the fool who posted it English is like she type with her two big toes, of course my comments are in the []’s. Again leave your feelings at the door. I didn’t say people have to agree with what I’m saying but shit, this is my blog you can exit of out of it.

-There’s reusable bacon grease in a Maxwell House coffee can in the center of the burners on your stove. [Times are hard mayne, people don't have old pork infested grease to waste...that was sarcasm.]
-Turning up the heat means turning on another burner on the stove. [Pay the damn bill and you would have heat. Thats not ghetto thats people being limited and prefer buying the latest shoes than pay bills. So they have to deal with what the got.]
-The batteries in your remote control is held in place with a piece of tape. [People lose things, damn! I think half y'all fools who took part of this list lost ya' minds.]
-Something smells spoiled in the fridge and all you do is change the box of Arm & Hammer. [That's not ghetto thats fucking trifling, you got mold gobblings taking over your fridge and you think the mighty freshness of a box of Arm & Hammer is going to save the day. Good luck with that.]
-Your drinking glasses are jelly jars. [Its called recycling people!! Reduce, Reuse, RECYCLE!!! Damn idiots.]
-Your furniture is covered in plastic. [People are funky and often dirty, plastic on furniture isn't as bad as people are making it out to be.]
-You run to get pots when it rains. [Cheap asses you rather grab a pot instead of grabbing a phone to get your roof fixed. Shameful, thats not ghetto....thats SAD!]
-The roaches in your house only comes out when company comes. [Having roaches period whether or not they come out to surprise your guest or not is nasty, and allowing them over so they can witness them is twice as bad as having them. Imagine the conversations they're having behind your back, well they can't sit and call the kettle black if they got roaches too.]
-The back of your toilet is always off and you know how to manually flush it. [Disgusting, not ghetto. Hope you washed your toilet watered hands before you ate with them.]
-You have more than 10 uses for Vaseline. [I can't think of one that classify as it being ghetto. SDFU please.]
-You don’t think you’re clean until every inch of you is covered in baby powder. [Cleanliness? Baby Powder? Does not = clean! The person can hop right out of bed and throw some powder on them and say "look massa, I'm clean!"]
-The heels of your feet look like you’ve been kicking flour. [Really? How do you kick with your heels? I would LOVE to know.]
-Your collar is still up. [The fuck is this?]
-You use Tussy. [Deodorant is deodorant stupid. Why people worried whats going on under someone else armpits though? How do you go about saying that to someone or finding out without literally getting under their arms? Right the only thing "ghetto" about that is the level you stoop to to call someone else ghetto.]
-You use black eyeliner for your lips. [Thats just them being creative, plenty of people do it. There are multiple uses for a lot of things, think outside the box when you're making these lame ass jokes.]
-Your lipstick matches your clothes. [I'm so pissed at this I don't have shit to say.]
-You have rolls in the back of your neck. [Its called being beef, healthy, chunky, fat. How is someone weight ghetto? Enlighten me someone please.]
-You wear a shower-cap every where but in the shower. [Yet you're not in the shower with them to know are ya'? If you are then you're "ghetto" for caring too much.]
-You dry cleaning your wash-able clothes. [What is wrong with that? Again with people too busy worrying about someone else.]
-You’ve never been to the dentist. [AGAIN AND AGAIN! With the bitching about someones dental hygiene. Thats not ghetto thats carelessness and probably lack in health care and or money.]
-You clean your ears with a bobby pin, pen cap or finger. [Nasty asses.]
-You wear your outfits with the tags still on them. [Cheap ass broke asses. Where's the ghetto part?]
-The only artwork you own is on your fingernails. [Some people don't draw or involve themselves in anytype of art that consists of them doing it themselves for a long period of time.]
-You go to the beauty shop for a press and curl. [There are people out there that can't do their own head you know.]
-You ever waiting for hours in a hair salon and had an appointment. [Busy day? Must be patient to realize that you've been waiting for hours for an hair appointment.]
-Your daughter is under 16 and has extensions. [Thats bad parenting skills.]
-You perm your 3 yr old’s hair. [Thats child endangerment and bad parenting skills.]
-You have to put a towel on your furniture so the curl  activator don’t stain it. [Shouldn't even be around things that can stain furniture any damn way. Shit isn't ghetto is just the right thing to do.]
-You refer the hair at the nape of your neck as “kitchen.” [Never heard of that saying before so its not ghetto because yes, the kitchen in your house is often in the back but it just something put together with heavy thinking and a bottle of Jack Daniels.]
-Your baby has only but a few strands of hair but you have barrettes on them. [Thats giving the child false hope and putting yourself through a denial phase. Hopefully its a phase, I pray that it is.]
-You never learned to swim cause you didn’t want your hair wet. [That means the bitch doesn't shower or wash her hair. A more reasonable but pathetic excuse would be "cause the of the chlorine."]
-Your child thinks his real name is “little man“. [That's sad.]
-You changed your first name cause you felt it was a “white person’s” name but decided to keep your last cause it was a slaves last name. [So where's the ghetto part again?]
-You have troubling spelling the names you gave your children. [Thats sad mostly cause if they wasn't naming these kids with shit they can barely pronounce all for the sake of trying to be "creative" or "different" and I could be stretching it when I say this but um..."unique".]
-You weigh more than 300lbs but claim you can’t eat everyone’s food. [The fuck? Just cause you weigh a certain amount doesn't mean your appetite is that big either. TRY AGAIN!]
-You’ve dropped food on the floor, picked it up, and kissed it up to God before you ate it. [Thats disgusting but shit if they feel they doing a favor remindign God that "God made dirt so dirt don't hurt". Then by all means throw your whole plate on the floor.]
-You page yourself. [WTF!? I have no words...no words.]
-You’re late for everything but act like its a cultural expression. [Bullshit, you're late cause you're probably lazy as fuck.]
-You wear flip flops outside the house. [Well then everyone just about on Earth with limbs and enjoy "sandals" are ghetto then. Who ever said this shit is a fucking idiot.]
-You’re known for rolling your eyes. [Yea okay thats REAL "ghetto". I haven't met not one person who hasn't rolled their eyes out of anger, frustration or disgust.]
-You referred to the strong winds as “the hawk.” [I've heard old folks say that and I do believe they have their own terms when describing storms and windy days. That saying has probably been around for a very long time. That doesn't make it ghetto cause you feel like a douche saying it.]
-You add ‘ed‘ or ‘t‘ at the end of words thats past tense. [Freedom of speech needs to be revoked for some individuals cause they are using they're right as an excuse to feel, be and talk like an idiot.]
-You talk loud on the phone cause its long distance. [Shit if I knew yelling loud as I can cause of long distance and they could hear me it wouldn't be long distance now would it? Thats just an excuse to be loud.]

You’re ghetto if you pronounce these words like…:

-Ambalamce – Ambulance.
-Skrimps – Shrimps.
-Pacific – Specific.
-Skreet – Street.
-Axe – Asked.
-Lookeded – Looked.
-Member – Remember.
-Spisketti – Spaghetti.
-Sho-liz – Sure is.
-Wayamennit – Wait a minute.
-Nem – Them or Em.

[All of that shit is just fucking sad. The sadness levels are rising at an alarming rate. Time to bring out the fail cake.]

You know you’re ghetto when cont.

-When you use clear nail polish to stop a run in your stocking. [Never heard of that before. But shit if it stops it then it stops it. Its not ghetto to the least.]
-You buy your stockings in the same place you do your grocery shopping. [I mean if they have them available to buy then what the fuck is the problem people? People really do fail at making jokes don't they?]
-The best pair of shoes you own are sneakers. [Wow cause yea like "sneakers" don't almost cost as much as a down payment for a car and shit. You can hit up Payless and hit up that BOGO offer and shit though.]
-You wear colored contacts. [Just another sad attempt to find something normal and make it abnormal.]
-You wear a watch that you know doesn’t work. [The point in that I just don't see, thats not ghetto thats fucking stupid on so many levels.]
-You have more shoes than you have books. [I mean if the person only got one book...come on!!!]
-You think fatback’s are nutritious. [Ew, they need to hit up the salad bar or reevaluate their food consumptions.]
-You add salt before you taste your food. [Yea I guess but its not ghetto, people love salt and they can do whatever the hell they feel like doing to it.]
-You put ketchup on everything besides hot dogs, fries and hamburgers. [Really? So spaghetti and other tomato based foods are considered ghetto too? Right, thought so.]
-You got mad when the government stopped government cheese. [Like they still don't have welfare cheese though, .99 cent for 16 slices. People get mad but showing an emotion isn't ghetto, sorry.]
-You know how to melt government cheese. [Wow they got it down to a Science don't they? Please SDFU.]
-You’re always eating over at a friends but never bring anything. [I mean if they didn't ask about me bringing anything over or shit I could be poor and only got enough money to pay the bills. Shit I mean damn circumstances are presented when they need to be.]
-You thought coffee would make you black. [Thats just something they came up with in their head or they family spooked them as a kid...yet thats not ghetto either.]
-You put salted peanuts in your Cocoa Cola. [WHOOOAAAA DUUUUDEEEE! IS THAT LIKE...SALTED PEANUTS IN YOUR COCOA COLA DUUUDE?!! THAT IS SOOOO STELLAR! People are fucking idiots I tell you.]
-You eat cough drops like they were candy. [So? Not classified as ghetto.]
-You eat oatmeal cause it sticks to your ribs when its a cold day. [Really? Thinking smart is being considered "ghetto"? Shit who wants a nice cold bowl of oatmeal to stay warm? Again SDFU.]
-You pop your gum. [Thats not ghetto, thats annoying.]
-You’re at church and people can tell what you’ll be having for dinner by getting a whiff of your coat. [Yea okay, man I don't even know what to say to this one.]
-You eat chitterlings. [I don't eat them but people who do aren't ghetto. Being that thats the part of the pig no one is really suppose to eat, its just a sickening thought to see someone eat that and the smell is horrific. Not ghetto though.]

You’re ghetto if you eat the following snacks…:

pork rinds, chitterlings [Really, thats a damn "SNACK"?], moonpies, pistachios, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, licorice, salt and vinegar chips, now & laters, pixie stix, twizzlers, mary jane, lemon heads, Boston baked beans, Redhots, freezer pops, Chic -o- stix, snowballs, Cheeze Whiz, pop tarts, blowpops, candy necklaces, jawbreakers, sugar daddy. [Well it seems half of the world is ghetto then. How is eating any of those things "ghetto"? Especially well shit all of it? Stupid folks.]
-You drink the following beverages…: yoo-hoo, malt-liquor, tahitian treat, fanta, red kool-aid, arizona drinks, tab, fresca, water ice [WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! SOMEONE SLAP THE BITCH WHO SAID THIS SHIT!], soda – all types.
-The rear window of your car is filled with stuffed animals. [People love stuffed animals if they want them in their car then so the fuck what? Not ghetto.]
-You have a crack in your windshield but never got it fixed. [Being broke is a helluva drug. Still, not ghetto!]
-You drove around with a do-nut weeks after you’ve gotten a flat. [Being broke is a helluva drug +2. Still not ghetto! +6].

You’re ghetto if you like any of these cars…:

Cadillac, gremlin, hornet, lincoln, pacer, pinto. [This list just gets dumber and motherfuckign dumber.]

You know you’re ghetto when…cont.

-You can learn the lastest dance moves from your church choir. [Wow okay the church choir could be youth or really hip seniors or whatever. People do and can dance shit. Theres no where in the Bible where god says "thou shalt not superman that ho'". Not ghetto!!!]
-The offering plate goes around the congreation five times. [You're watching a little too hard to be keeping count.]
-The announcements at your church is longer than the sermon. [Exactly how does this make the person ghetto cause the church have a lot to say?]
-Either the bride or the groom sings to each other.  [& What the fuck is wrong with that? Someone please point out to me how that's ghetto?]
-No one at the wedding can fit in their dresses, including the bride. [Duh fool you think "noone means". Also how is that ghetto? I believe thats "denial" and being "cheap" and or "lazy".]
-The mom cooked the reception meal. [Okay? Your point? Who is suppose to cook if I may ask? Oh yea the people! Not the mother but the people! Bitch SDFU.]
-There are more people at the reception than at the wedding. [So? People don't have to go to the wedding you know I mean shit who wants to sit and watch someone cry and kiss and share their vows to one another? Right...only people who care. Not GHETTO!]
Your wedding dress is also a maternity dress. [Thats fucking cheap than a mug, not ghetto. Sad but not ghetto.]
-You’re ghetto if you play these songs at your wedding…: Always and forever, I’ll always love you, You and I, Wind beneath my wings, here and now [oh HELLLLL NO! they've crossed the line on this one, thats just idiotic not just for this but for all of the songs listed.], Ribbon in the Sky[someone deserves a slice of fail cake.], and For Always. [Yea, people I hope they were REALLY joking about that shit but shit then again they probably weren't and just say the were.]
-The deceased and the widow are wearing matching outfits. [Thats a new one.]
-Someone tries to climb in the coffin. [Thats ghetto how? People have different ways of mourning and this how some act when they lose a loved one.]
-You ever said the deceased has “slipped away.” [That is just one way in saying someone died in a nicer more calmer way.]
-You go to a night club but stays outside of the club all night. [Could of did that outside your house/apartment.]
-You’ve taken the bus to a night club. [So? People do it all the time, have you SEEN the parking lots sometimes? Who want to go and get their car out of that mess once they leave? Right, people with patience and don't have shit else to do thats who.]
-You ask random folks to take pictures with you and show them to others and say, “yea I date him/her.” [That is the most lamest shit I've read of.]

You’re ghetto if you say or hear the following phrases…: [This should be good cause its not my ears work at the most opportune moments huh? Like I have a off switch on them shits.]

“What is your sign?” [That's more of a weak ass pick up line to me or an conversation starter.]
“Can I get those 7 digits?” [I'm surprised people are positive with them asking for "7 digits", its amazing how many people can count.]

You’re ghetto if  your favorite band groups are these…:

Climax, The Brothers Johnson, The Silvers, Ready for the World, Tina Marie, Tarvaris, The Commodores [Man they been crossing so many damn lines.], The Jackson 5 [Yea they have totally lost their damn minds! People can't enjoy "GOOD" music now and not be called "ghetto"? Joking or not, thats just idiotic and disrespectful.]

You know you’re ghetto when…cont.

-Your children only form of entertainment is singing into the window fan. [Listen if they find that entertainment so be it, their actions don't have shit to do with me being "ghetto".]
-You’ve sent your child to go pick out a switch. [NO! Thats just saying "you better hope the shit breaks which ever one you pick cause you know you about to get that ass tapped.]
-Your mother sounds like a rap artist when she’s beating your ass. [Well thats saying rap music is ghetto right or no? Either way if you were trying to whip your child's ass and talk at the same time and swing every time you utter a word then hell yea. Mother gone be out of breath.]
-Your son isn’t 5 years of age and his ears are pierced. [What does that have to do with anything? I'm no son but I had my ears pierced at the fresh age of 3. Fucking idiots. Someone needs to pierce y'all keyboards to y'all ASS!]
-Your children go to school smelling like bacon grease. [NO! That isn't ghetto that means the parents are trifling and needs their life license revoked.]
-You pay more for your kids sneakers than child care. [I don't think thats ghetto, I do believe thats lack of intelligence and wisdom. I though would/will expect this out of these pregnant teens though.]
-You pinch your newborns nose to make it thin. [Theres not enough pinching in the world. How you insecure about your own child looks?]

The most random, dumbest, stupidest “you’re ghetto when…” list known to man…

-You use abortion as a form of birth control. [Thats not ghetto, that sick, sad, and a easy way out.]
-You’ve every played dodge ball. [The fuck? Thats what we played in Physical Education in Grade School, I swear people are complete idiots.]
-Your raced barefoot in the middle of the street. [I have nothing to say about this one cause its already relevant that I haven't found not one "ghetto" thing yet.]
-You played kicked the can. [Okay...there aren't any more lines to cross, all the T's have been crossed.]
-You ever played knuckles?  [Knuckles as in what? Sonic & Knuckles?]
-Your basketball rim has a rim but no net. [If fools wouldn't take them off they would have nets you fucking idiot.]

-You’ve played red light green light. [Yea thats real ghetto, having fun is ghetto now a days.]

-You don’t get accepted to the army. [What the fuck? Man....I swear I wish I can tell this fucker off who said this shit so bad.]
-You keep food stamps in a money clip. [Thats funny but its not ghetto, its wishful thinking.]
-You chew ice. [Yea but can you tell me what not chewing ice is? Right, not ghetto! Neither is chewing it.]

Man I’m through if you want to read the rest of them stupid shits. Here’s the source. Have fun. I MUST warn you though, the broads site is horrendous. I’ve never seen such a poorly done site ever!